Stressed? Overwhelmed? Worried parents make kids feel worried.

Our children are increasingly ridden with anxiety and depression, isolated and stressed by social media and destabilized by socioeconomic disadvantages, divorce and even violence.
But it’s not just children who suffer because of these trends. Parents’ stress levels are enormous and growing.
“The youth mental health crisis we’re living in, where so many children are struggling with anxiety and depression, and are attempting self-harm − that also understandably weighs on parents and contributes to their own stress,” U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy told me recently on New York University Langone Health’s “Doctor Radio Reports” on Sirius XM. “Those are relatively different from what prior generations had to contend with.”
Dr. Murthy recently released a Surgeon General’s Advisory on parents’ mental health, based on new research from the American Psychological Association. Researchers found that of the 63 million parents with children under the age of 18, a whopping 48% are reporting overwhelming stress on a daily basis.
The advisory highlights the demands of parenting, including sleep deprivation, busy schedules, managing child behaviors, financial strains and worries about children’s health and safety.
As surgeon general, physician Murthy has issued previous advisories on loneliness, teen mental health and the overuse of social media. The latest advisory is an extension of those themes and once again highlights a devastating problem that is easily overlooked.
‘An unfair fight’:Surgeon general says parents need help with kids’ social media use
Parental stress is a public health crisis directly connected to the crisis of childhood stress and anxiety.
Murthy expressed concern that parents are feeling increased stress in part because of the judgmental, perfectionistic environment of social media.
Perhaps most important, he pointed out that worried parents make their children feel worried.
“The truth is, the reason that parental well-being matters so much is because those parents do an incredibly important job, which is raising the next generation,” Murthy said. “And when parents are struggling with their mental health, it actually affects the mental health of kids.”
As a remedy, he’s prescribing more kindness and less judgment as well as more community support for parents.
Why are school supplies so expensive?Back-to-school shopping shouldn’t cost a mortgage payment.
We also need a greater focus on assisting low-income households, those with job instability, racial and ethnic minorities, sexual and gender minorities, immigrants, divorced families, the disabled and parents and children who have been exposed to violence.
Simple gestures of kindness, sharing the responsibility of caring for children with the community, more connections among parents and speaking more openly about the challenges that parents face are all steps forward.
“Everything is harder when we don’t have support around us − when we don’t have relationships, social connections and a sense of community,” Dr. Murthy told me. “That means what may seem like normal routine stresses may become overwhelming. Just a small gesture of support or kindness or compassion from someone else can make a real difference when you’re in a crisis.”
“A little kindness goes a long way,” the surgeon general said.
Dr. Marc Siegel is a professor of medicine and medical director of Doctor Radio at New York University’s Langone Health. His latest book is “COVID: The Politics of Fear and the Power of Science.” Follow him on Twitter: @DrMarcSiegel